Monday, 11 June 2018

The last post..

With this song in the background, as I sip my Nescafe and see the blue sky with a tinge of orange, I feel a sense of quietness amidst the chaos in my life...a deafening silence.. as if saying.. You have accomplished what you wanted in your life.

hmm.. kind of yes.. may be ..may be not..

Some people feel I am jobless now...may be.. may be not..

Jobless .. hmm....yes I am jobless now in that I am not earning anything now.


I have worked for 15 years and now I am without a job, so may be that can be called as I am retired or something if I may say :-P from my professional work.

yea.. may be you can call it a paradigm shift!!

I have offered help to the maximum to all my friends, sometimes even to the verge of being in debt for them.  Some feel so happy for me that they feel as if I have taken up the entire quota of doing good.. may be..may be not!

Some are working in NHS,

Some are good authors now,

I could educate 75 girl children from 1st Std till 5th Std and from June 2018, I have stopped bcoz these children are adopted by good people and they are in secure hands.

I try to have regularly six-monthly visits to 5 orphanages, 3 old age homes, 2 mentally retarded homes, 1 Burns Care

I have been always focussed on what I want in terms of goals and I have worked hard towards it and have achieved it too.  I have always worked with integrity and worked truly even when no one used to supervise my work.

I have always lived for others, sacrificed my individuality for raising up my kids in a secure and happy environment.  Most of the times I cry alone bcoz I don't want my kids to see and feel my pain.

Some things I missed in my life and I still do miss..I want someone to say I love you, I need you, you are my everything, I cant live without you ... but then I think is it too much that I am asking for or  may be thats how my life is meant to be.  They say marriages are made in heaven, I know.. its not true at all..


I am a Leo but my fav animal is Wolf and the following quote I always remember and I have fed the good wolf more but I do confess sometimes I have fed the bad wolf too!!!

So, now I want to live life for myself. Yea, 10 years I want to live for myself.

I dont want to go out and work.

I dont want to slog like a dog in housework.

I dont want to have my body in pain always.

I want to breathe.  I want to be free.

I dont want to be social.

I dont want to be online all the time.

I dont want to be pushed now...

I just want to pursue my passion of writing ( yea I heard... it does not pay well) and web series production.

So, this is my last post in this blog...Always remember to leave a mark in this world so that even after you die, you leave a legacy to follow.  I will leave a legacy of understanding, a legacy of helping selflessly, a legacy of true love and care...for sure..  How about u????

Friday, 8 June 2018

Self Discovery Journal:  (Self Discovery Journal, Self Discovery Questions)Self Discovery Journal: by Gerald Confienza
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book is written to bring awareness to the child we’ve left unattended for far too long- the one that lives inside of every one of us.

As kids, we’re in full connection with this child. We run, we play, we chase after things that we enjoy and love. We may not realize it, but we’re deeply connected to who we are and what we want. We need not label ourselves to know who we are, or question why it is we want things; our present-moment living grants us a tacit answer to these questions. I would even venture to say that this is the main reason why childhood is so blissful for all of us.

As we grow older, however, we are introduced to words; and words have narrow meanings. Time and time again we’ve been labeled by our peers and parents through the use of these words. It’s no wonder we lose most of our spontaneity as we mature. We’ve been identified by words or labels for so long that we act as if we’re programmed to follow them. In short, we lose sight of who we really are and what we really want. The recent onslaughts of existential crisis people across different age groups face only serve to prove this point.

Yep.. this is a beautiful book, a must read. I did cry when I self analysed myself and when my nostalgic memories of childhood flashed forth. I felt proud of the scars that I got from people at different phases of my life and each scar showed me that I endured the pain, trauma and emerged more stronger in my personality. Loved all the 200 questions especially the following:-

Question #16 - How do I define happiness in my life? What is preventing me from being happy with my life? How would I take charge of my life so that I can change it for the better to ensure happiness and joy for me and for those whom I love and care for?

Question # 23. How do I forgive myself for all my past mistakes?

Question # 4 ( in 2nd section) Have I earned sufficient wealth or should I make more to lead a happy, contented life? Will I be happy and contented if I make more money ?

Question # 2 ( third section) What are the limits I am willing to go in oder to do things that will keep my family happy? What are the sacrifices I am willing to make for them?

Question #9 ( third section) What are the saddest family times I can recall? Can I feel that anguish even now?

Question #1 ( Personal Space Section) How do I define my personal space? Who is allowed inside this space and who is not allowed in this space?

Question #10 ( Personal Space Section) Do I dream of building a home in a faraway, remote location with very little ( just the basic) access to other people in the world?

Question #9 ( Contributions/Spirituality section) What is more important to me, to do the right things or do things in the right manner?

Question #12 ( Contributions/Spirituality section) Do I follow faith blindly or do I look for scientific answers to my questions before I follow any spiritual path?

Question # 15 ( Contributions/Spirituality section) Where do I get my mental strength from?

Question # 17 ( Contributions/Spirituality section) What are the questions about death that I would like answers for?

Question # 21 ( Contributions/Spirituality section) What are the thoughts that come up in my mind when I see far more fortunate people seeming to have a fun time in their lives while I struggle to work hard and make ends meet?

Question #23 ( Contributions/Spirituality section) Why do I feel attracted to someone despite knowing that he or she is outside of my reach

If any one of the above question intrigues you, read this book for sure.


View all my reviews

Every Time a Bell RingsEvery Time a Bell Rings by Carmel Harrington
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This story draws you into its world; the ending is as enchanting, as its characters.

The story centers on Belle, a tossed-around, often-forgotten, bi-racial child of the foster care system whose longest-term relationships include a mother who never wanted to see her born, and a cold, clinical social worker named Mrs. O'Reilly. She trusts no one but the one constant in her life, her beloved doll Dee Dee. She has never been allowed to make choices or have opinions, and saying what she thinks has never gotten her anywhere good.

I did cry many times while I read this book. And some scenes still haunt me. It's unimaginable that people can be cruel to children, but sadly, it's a part of many adults' experience. The compelling part of the story is to see how people can overcome their beginnings, and how little it can take to turn someone from the wrong path to the right. I loved the ending and felt happy for Belle.

View all my reviews

Who Am I??????

Monday, 4 June 2018


The shape of DNA can be manipulated to create tiny machines and computers, and scientists have discovered a range of new “triggers” to control this process.

Adding substances like copper and oxygen to molecules of DNA can force it to change its shape.

Creating a range of DNA shapes provides scientists with a toolkit they can then use to construct tiny pieces of technology from the building blocks of life.

“The structure of DNA is usually assumed to be a double helix – that iconic structure that was first proposed by Watson and Crick in 1953 – but DNA is able to change structure,” Dr Zoe Waller from the University of East Anglia (UEA) told The Independent.

Dr Waller’s team work on a particular structure called the “i-motif”, a four-stranded, knot-like structure that was identified in living cells for the first time in April. 

 Though alternative DNA structures are thought to have a role in the onset of certain genetic diseases such as diabetes and cancer, the UEA research team was not looking for medical applications.

“We know these structures do play a role in gene expression, but that was not the role of this study – DNA can be used as a material in making things,” she explained.

DNA has potential as a construction material for a variety of technological applications, from nanobots to DNA-coded computers.

As its structure is so different, the i-motif can be used as a switch when paired with regular DNA – with the two different shapes being recognised as either “on” or “off”.

This has already been applied in basic nanomachine applications, and work by Dr Waller and her colleagues has expanded the repertoire of switches that can be used in such settings.

By adding copper salts to DNA in oxygen-free conditions, they found DNA could be changed into an i-motif shape. This could then be further modified into another shape called a “hairpin” by adding oxygen to the mix.

The last post..

With this song in the background, as I sip my Nescafe and see the blue sky with a tinge of orange, I feel a sense of quietness amid...